I'm sure you're all wondering why I've seemed so distant from the blogging world lately. It's true - I've been somewhat uninspired by the typical meaningless bloggy blog things and when I write blogs about the world or politics, most people either don't care or are bored. That's fine. I take my political rants home and vent them there (and there's a new book out called "Free Lunch" that I'm reading and makes my head spin with all the things I need to be pissed off about... but I digress...)
The reason I haven't been faithfully blogging recently is because I'm an addict. Yes. They tried to make me go to rehab and I said, um, no thanks. I watch Celebrity Rehab, and maybe I should be in there... only I'm not addicted to drugs or alcohol - I'm addicted to Yahoo Puzzle Games.
The games are simple, repetitive, silly - but right now nothing satisfies me more than clearing a set of gems or helping a set of missionaries and cannibals cross the stream. I can't help it. All I want to do is match sea shells and release new fish into the internet's ocean, attach vines and clear the way for the monkeys, finish a tangram made of sparkly jewels.
At first it was just my old standby game, Alchemy - I played whenever I had time to spare... I got good... I started saving my high scores onto a word document so I could beat my own high scores. It rarely happened, but when it did I felt like I had just won the Olympic Gold Medal of Awesomeness.
Turns out Alchemy was a gateway drug. After a few weeks, Alchemy just wasn't cutting it for me anymore. I stopped caring if I was able to match double lines using only one symbol. I needed more. I began experimenting with anything I could get my hands on. Soon I was playing Bejeweled 2, and Ball Lines. Yahoo offered me a long list of puzzle games and since they knew I'd probably be a broke addict, they continued to offer me a variety of games for free that would peek my interest, but leave me drooling for more (what they maybe didn't anticipate is that I'm also a cheap addict... so no matter how awesome the game is, I'll never pay $19.99 for the full version... if I beat the web version, it means I beat the game... next...) And then I met... Big Kahuna .
Big Kahuna started out like any other matching game - you matched at least three in a row, diagonal or vertical and the spots cleared. Big Kahuna was set in the ocean, with a tiki and every time you cleared you released a new fish. Whatever - I didn't care, another matching game I needed to plow through and beat. Levels one through 5 were child's play. I beat each level in under a minute.
Level 6.
Level 6 took all three of my renewable puzzle game lives. It was impossible. I spent 3 days working on Big Kahuna level 6 until I finally beat it once. Convinced that it must have been pure luck that I beat it I tried again. It took me another 2 days to beat level 6 again - and when I did, I just barely beat the clock. I've beat it twice now - level 7, 8 and 9 are easy as pie... but level 6 wants to just punch you in the spleen.
So like any good addict, I'm going to try and push my addiction onto you - my friends - so I don't have to be addicted alone. Obviously I reccomend Big Kahuna... but there are others.
These games seem really simple but will bug the shit out of you unless you figure it out on the first two tries. Once you solve them, you'll have no desire to play again - but the high you get when you want to punch your computer monitor for showing you such a frustrating puzzle is worth it: Missionaries and Cannibals and Arrows
Cubis 2 is a variation on your basic match and clear games, like Bejeweled2 and Ball Lines.. fun - and the crunch blocks are so fun to smoosh.
Puzzle Inlay is a giant tangram - something soothing about fitting pieces together... and you'll need something soothing if you try and play String Avoider 2 which might be one of the most addicting and frustrating games to date.
Anyway, that is all for now. I must continue my exploration for new and exciting puzzle games. I may or may not return. Remember me always - not as the girl who was addicted to puzzle games, but as the girl who loved nachos and other things too.
John Lennon sang it and I suppose it has been my Christmas wish since I was in the 4th grade.
I remember our teacher, Ms. Newland, telling us that the US was at war in the Persian Gulf. She showed us the day's newspaper and my stomach fell to the floor - "current events" was a new subject in class and this was a pretty big current event. I was confused and scared. Our teacher told us not to worry because the war wouldn't come to our shores. I had read about WWII and Vietnam in our 4th grade US history book, and our teacher assured us, those wars were a very long time ago and we won anyway (understandably, there was no need to discuss the complications of the reality of war with 4th graders... or to bring up the more recent conflicts in Grenada, Beirut or the invasion of Panama.) I asked permission to go to the restroom.
In my young 9 year old misunderstanding of our history book, I thought the Statue of Liberty meant that we never had to fight a war again. I looked at myself in the mirror of the restroom. I was wearing a light blue uniform shirt and shorts - my hair was in a ponytail.
I stood there and stared blankly at myself for about 5 minutes.
"I never thought there would be war in my time."
I don't know why I said it aloud or why I phrased it that way in particular. Probably because it's what the kids on TV would do and probably how they would have said it if they were ever forced to deal with such subject matter on Full House.
I remember my world crumbling a little that day. I was 9 years old happily sheltered in Orange County believing that war was something old people remembered. From that day forward the world was not quite the same. Every time I blew my candles out on my birthday or saw a star fall, or saw 11:11 on the clock, I asked for the typical kid things, and always tacked on "but most importantly I wish for world peace."
Silly I guess, but I still wish for it whenever I get a chance.
Happy Christmas John Lennon
Happy Christmas Yoko. Happy Christmas John.
So this is Christmas, And what have you done? Another year over, And a new one just begun.
And so this is Christmas, I hope you have fun, The near and the dear one, The old and the young.
A very merry Christmas And a happy New Year! Let's hope it's a good one, Without any fear.
And so this is Christmas, War is over For weak and for strong, If you want it For rich and the poor ones, War is over The world is so wrong. Now...
And so happy Christmas, War is over For black and for white, If you want it For yellow and red ones, War is over, Let's stop all the fight. Now...
A very merry Christmas And a happy New Year! Let's hope it's a good one, Without any fear.
And so this is Christmas War is over And what have we done? If you want it Another year over, War is over, And a new one just begun. Now...
And so happy Christmas War is over I hope you have fun If you want it The near and the dear one War is over, The old and the young. Now...
A very merry Christmas And a happy New Year Let's hope it's a good one Without any fear
"Radio has no future. Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. X-rays will prove to be a hoax." -William Thomson, Lord Kelvin English scientist, 1899.
The X-Files movie is slated for release sometime in 2008 (hopefully.)
I love the X-Files. I have no idea how many times I've watched all the episodes, but I have all 9 seasons on DVD and the Mythology set... and I've watched them all in consecutive order, then in the order of my favorite episodes (numero uno being the episode that Chris Carter based on his visit to the city of Irvine - "Arcadia" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GixZdibeyJ4 where a disgusting garbage monster kills people for not obeying the HOA covenants, codes and regulations) then in order of my favorite monsters, etc. etc. etc. I love the X-Files.
I was reading about all the hype around Dennis Kucinich saying he saw a UFO. I didn't think it was too strange myself - after all, both Jimmy Carter and Ronald Regan claimed to have seen a UFO while they were governors of their states. I suppose those were different times though.
I remembered listening to Kevin and Bean and hearing an interview with Buzz Aldrin. He described his venture into outer space for Apollo 11 with Armstrong and Collins and their near-UFO experience. Here's a You Tube video with him describing the same thing:
There's a whole buttload of other NASA Astronauts who say they've had interaction with UFOs or have seen them while on missions into outer space (a superficial Google search revealed at least these: Cady Coleman NASA transmission shuttle mission STS-73; Astronaut Dr. Brian O'Leary; Charles J. Camarda Ph.D. NASA Astronaut; NASA's Scott Carpenter.) So the people who work in outer space are saying that there are unidentified flying objects in outer space which our intelligence agencies can not explain as spy vehicles from any earthly country - how can one laugh at anyone who says "I think I've seen a UFO?"
England has a department that is dedicated to the investigation of UFO sightings. When investigations began 80% of those sightings were easily explained away as a mis-sighting (weather balloon, traffic lights, aircraft, etc.) 15% lacked enough information to investigate appropriately and 5% of the information had complete and reliable information (multiple unrelated witnesses, radar, RAF pilot testimonies, etc.), yet still was totally unexplainable. Unidentifiable. Object. Flying.
I understand that for all governments that these issues are matters of national security - they have to do their investigation in secrecy assuming that it could always possibly be a result of some foreign nation with incredible skills that we had no idea existed... but if that's not the case, I wonder if the governments would come out and say, yes, officially there is some sort of unidentified flying technology and we're trying to figure it out.
In the X-Files they don't tell anyone because at first they claim it would cause mass panic - in the end, it's really because a sect of these mean aliens are trying to colonize our planet and have made a deal with an organization of elite men to save their asses by not being infected with the virus that will turn them into psycho ass aliens... but their asses would only be saved if they didn't tell anyone. Mulder finds out, kicks ass, ends up in a motel room with Scully awaiting the end. Also, there was some stuff with the Mayans and you know the origin of our species being alien and crap. All awesome.
Anyway, there's an episode where Cigarette Smoking Man and another head FBI official (who technically doesn't "exist") have been told that they have captured a live alien and have to make the decision to kill it or let Agent Mulder know. They kill the alien. I hope we're not killing aliens now too.
I never knew what Harry and David was until I started working in an office. It's the office gift basket of choice so a few years ago when gift catalogues started pouring in at the holidays and my office bigwigs mulled over the Harry and David options, I thought this was another sure sign of the apocalypse. It was $29.95 for 4 apples and 4 pears! That's $3.75 per fruit not including shipping! How could anyone pay that much for a fruit? I could just swing by the whole foods market and bring a bushel back for the same price, we'll throw it in a basket and be on with it.
That is until I tried it myself.
Our company gets a big H&D basket every year from one of our clients. My bigwigs - being great bosses - set it out in the kitchen to be shared. The first year was a basket of "Royal Riviera" pears and nuts. I don't eat nuts, and I don't like pears, but I have a hard time turning down free snack food so I grabbed a pear and headed back to my desk.
Holy balls, these must have been the pears that the good Lord Himself planted in the Garden of Eden. The skin was thin, delicate and just a tad tart. The fruit was smooth and dripping with this amazing syrupy juice - it was so soft you could scoop it out with a spoon. I had never smelled a pear that once split had an aroma that I would like to rub all over my body. THIS must be what a pear was intended to be!!! Organic! Alive! It was heaven.
I ran back to the kitchen (being the glutton I am) to grab maybe one or two more (you know, for the road...) but they were gone by the time I got there.
I eagerly awaited the next year. Oh, for one bite of that pear - I had spent the year surfing their website looking at their gorgeous pears and telling myself over and over again that I could not justify spending that much for a simple pear. I'd go to the store, buy a pear only to eat half of it. Despite this, I did well. I didn't buy a thing from Harry and David's website.
Christmas time came again and the big Harry and David's basket found itself sitting in the kitchen. I must have a friends in high places because I was the first one to discover it sitting there all alone in it's virgin state and I was there to pillage! This time it had a variety of treats - pears, apples, chocolates, nuts... and CHEESE.
My heart pounded.
How am I going to carry this all to my desk without looking suspicious? I heard footsteps and talking coming towards the office kitchen.
I can't take one of each back to my desk to hoard like a chubby chipmunk for the winter! Oh god... not enough time...
Too late.
They turned the corner and gabbed away as they perused the selection. I was already holding an apple... I couldn't grab a pear now... but I can't just leave with only a regular old apple! I want an apple and a pear... and chocolate... and CHEESE. The cheese. I could take the cheese.
I grabbed the first block of Cheddar Cheese I could reach and opened it up and began slicing it (you know... to be "helpful" and stuff...) One of my co-workers eyed the cheese I was slicing - mentioned something about how she couldn't wait to try it - I don't know what she said... my head was spinning. I sliced up the whole block.
I took 3 slices and put them on my mini-plate next to my apple. My co-workers turned their attention to the coffee machines... I quickly grabbed at least 4 more slices of cheese and threw them on my plate and dashed out before they could think thoughts about my weight gain since starting my desk job.
I looked at this "Crisp Mountain" apple with disdain. An apple is an apple - what I really wanted was a pear. I sliced the apple at my desk (I have a plastic knife and cutting board set at my desk... weird, but useful) and I was taken aback by the soft apple scent that fluttered up through my olfactory glands. I satiated my watering mouth with a crisp wedge of this cool crunchy apple.
I finally understood why Eve couldn't resist a piece of fruit. This must have been the apple hanging on the tree of wisdom. My primal urges lunged toward my plate intent on scarfing the rest of the apple - seeds would be nothing more than collateral damage. The office setting and my years of training as a well behaved member of society stopped me. I paused, took a deep breath and picked up a piece of the cheese.
Oh god. The cheese.
Let's have a moment of silence to honor the cheese.
.
.
.
.
Thank you.
I took a bite of apple and immediately felt refreshed, alive, excited... and quickly followed it with a bite of cheese - savored it, breathed it, absorbed it. I was in an altered state - that could be the only explanation for what I did next. A little something I like to call "Apple in a Cheese Blanket." Yes, I rolled a slice of cheese around an apple and stuffed it in my mouth. That was the moment I understood that the universe actually existed in the Supreme Being's mouth and was a result of the reaction of combining Harry and David's cheese and apple into one bite. I went back into the kitchen to check on the status of the gift basket a few hours later. The fruit was all gone. I had expected as much. I was about to leave when I saw a little twinkle of yellow-orange sunshine peek out from the darkness. To my surprise the dish of sliced cheese had been pushed back behind the large box and was tucked away between the wall and the box edge. There were at least 15 slices left!
I couldn't eat all 15, could I? That would amount to over 100% of my daily saturated fat daily allowance. Could I really do that to my body? Could I be that overcome by a block of what amounts to be rotted dairy?
I don't know who Harry and David are, but they must have sold their souls to the devil and farm their fruits in the actual Garden of Eden hidden from the likes of us regular mortals. Even though business is slow this year, I'm hoping our client still has it in them to send us a box of Harry and David goodies. They have a new set of Pearsnapples (the box combining 4 pears and 4 apples) with fresh "Rogue Valley" blue cheese. That sounds like it would be a good option.. although I'm sure I'd be equally happy with the Delux Pearsnapples set with 2 cheddars, a jack, and a Danish havarti.
Oh, and to answer my own question, I can... I did...and I'd do it again.
Ok, so the media isn't particularly liberal or conservative - it's entirely corporate... just like the politicians they're parading as the top contenders for the next presidential election. The "media" admits it - setting up a self-fulfilling prophesy...you know, to help you "focus":
I can't vote in the primaries because I'm not registered with a political party - but if you are I urge you to turn off your tv and radio and do the reading starting now.... for my sake. Since you are my friends, I assume you are smart enough to read up on the issues and have well formed opinions of your own even if we disagree. If not, and you need help getting started, message me and I'll give you some pointers.
Still not totally sure who you're rooting for? Take a couple of fun quizzes to get you looking in the right direction:
Honestly if someone is going to tell me, come 2008, that I am going to have to choose between the "lesser of two evils," I'd prefer that the two evils weren't bought and paid for by big business. Kay? I'm tired of all the Guilianni-Clinton-Romney-Obama-McCain-Edwards fluffy playland of almost having a real answer but not really (did anyone watch the debates? You can catch them on YouTube... I was so annoyed... just answer the damn questions with a damn answer. )
Anyway - here's the Primary Election calendar: http://www.fvap.gov/pubs/primarycal.html
And here's the list of Closed Primary states: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closed_primary so if you don't live in one of those states, maybe you can find out if you are eligible to vote in the primaries!
