As most of you know, I'm pretty sure that I have latent superhero abilities that have yet to be awakened. Much like the little boy in Germany was born with a mutated gene that allowed him to turn into the super boy (
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5278028/ and this dog
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=467985&in_page_id=1770 and then this cow
http://www.thetech.org/genetics/news.php?id=52 ) I believe that I have a mutated gene that will allow me to awaken the areas of my brain that are not under my conscious control and harness the ability to manipulate matter. You know, or something along those lines. Also, probably I'd get some sort of telepathy. I have seen some evidence of this when I healed Logan's leg from Florida by just telling her that I was going to heal it (we got back from Florida and her dislocated knee was fixed. I take credit for that since I told her I'd heal it while I was on vacation.) That same summer, I summoned a ferry to pick us up from the dock - we had been waiting for a very long time and were not sure the ferry was even scheduled to come. So I said, never fear friends, I will summon the ferry and I pointed at the horizon and concentrated - lo and behold, a ferry comes trudging around the bend (you're welcome, guys.) Stuff like this happens all the time. You call it coincidence, I call it my subconscious brain calling out for me to release my captive matter-molding skills.
I was going to try meditation. I read somewhere that Tibetan monks in meditation and nuns while praying the rosary were studied. During their meditation and deep prayer, parts of the brain would light up that had never lit up in any other study of the brain. These parts of the brain would not light up during any of their other activities, either.
This had to be the key!
What they don't tell you is that meditation is hard. Meditating for even 5 minutes is pretty much impossible. Have you ever tried to empty your brain? It's ridiculous. You're trying to empty your brain, but then you have your brain telling your brain to empty and then you're telling your brain to shut up, and then you're telling yourself to shut up because then you're brain will never shut up. At most, I got about 2 seconds of silence. And then, I was like whoa - silence! And I ruined it.
I was regularly taking yoga which worked to calm my mind. They tell you to concentrate on breathing, which helped a lot, I would not have any thoughts in my head and just listen to my breath and let my body move without working. There was a mental and physical awesomeness to doing yoga. So, of course, I would take my concentration to breathing home with me and try serious meditation alone without movement, in my room. It would work great - until I fell asleep.
Which brings me to my new theory.
I was talking about this with Mike and my brother (my brother also believes we have a dormant mutated gene - I just hope it's not the heart disease gene or the sickle-cell gene) and have come to the conclusion that the only way we would be able to awaken our latent abilities is through modified human hibernation.
Mike joked that my brother and I have the uncanny ability to sleep in. It's true. I have slept for 24 hours on more than one occasion, and woke up feeling happy and refreshed. I feel guilty sleeping through a weekend when I have work M-F - I know my brother does too, but often guilt is not enough. In order to feel well rested, I need at least 12 hours of sleep - anything less than 12 hours leaves me feeling groggy. Therefore, I feel groggy on a regular basis.
I generally can't fall asleep easily (staying asleep is much different than falling asleep) and end up staying awake until 2 or 3 in the morning only to wake up for work at 8.
So, I have the ability to stay awake and to stay asleep (my weakness is falling asleep and waking up.) If I hibernate for as long as my body will allow (meaning, making the correct preparations, completely drain the bladder and abstain from water and snacks before bed, appropriate pillows, blankets and mattress, sound proof room, temperature regulated, dark room etc.) I assume I should be able to sleep a minimum of 24 hours - I'd venture to say I'd comfortably sleep for up to 72 hours, but who knows, I may surprise myself and exceed that. I suspect that upon waking, one of two things will happen:
1. I will fall asleep within 16 hours - meaning my body has not completed hibernation and my hibernation process is longer than anticipated. I assume that after 16 hours of waking, I would sleep again for about 15-24 hours. Previously after any 24 hour sleep periods, I was unable to complete another uninterrupted sleep pattern, so I don't know how long I would have slept naturally.
2. I will have increased stamina and be able to stay awake for at least 2 days and will see the blossoms of my superpower abilities.
Now here is my dilemma - how am I supposed to support my hibernation? I have a husband, friends, family, a dog, a life, and the internet that needs me. I'm sure my hibernation period would only be temporary, but how long? I need to work and pay bills. I'll never be able to test my natural sleeping abilities and figure out what my sleep schedule is really like and what brain powers that sleep schedule would provide me. The machine is holding me back! They don't want me to become a superhero! Am I doomed to never manipulate the folds of time and space despite my obvious destiny? I now understand that mine is the age-old plight of the potentially genetically mutated superhero...sigh.
I guess I'll just have to stick to my other superhero persona for now. I am the curiosity that prevents you from getting your work done, I am the diversion that asks long winded questions, I am "Procrastination Person!" (Stan Lee - here I come. Except, I probably won't get around to filling out the forms and crap... because that's what I do... procrastinate.)
