I have been having busy-body syndrome. I haven't turned on my home computer in goodness knows how long... so that's been a problem. I have to put up those new Lip Ink shots and the pictures from the Opera (which by now is over. see. I lag)
I managed to squeeze some time in to see "The Matador." A well criticized flick starring Pierce Brosnan and Greg Kinnear. For a person who doesn't like sweating, dirt, explosions, or violence, this film managed to put that all in there in such a way that I only briefly flinched and quickly returned to my immersion in fantastic characters and curious story. I laughed. Mostly because I am a dork and could totally relate to the dorkiness of Greg Kinnear's character and his wife. Pierce Brosnan's character was gross. That really is the best way to describe him. So unlike all the other roles he normally takes on this time he was, gross, chubbers, sleazy, hairy and absolutely phenomenal. He was so great and so real. Forget James Bond and Thomas Crown. This is the new Pierce. I loved the colors and composition used throughout the film, enjoyed the fat titles (they made me feel indie and hip,) and the soundtrack was great to boot.
So since the whole "Thumbs up" thing is probably already copyright protected, I have to come up with a new system of rating movies. I think Martinis. (1 Martini being so fantastic you're really just having a celebratory drink and 10 martinis being please-I-need-an-alcohol-induced-coma-I-just-sat-through "From Justin to Kelly." )
I have to give "The Matador" 3 Martinis. One for the shots of authentic Bull Fighting (which I really just can't stomach at all, but I get the metaphor) and two more because, let's be honest, this is my first movie review on any sort of public forum and I don't really have an accurate scale. If I gave it 1 Martini and next week I went to see the greatest film ever made (say something like "Bill and Ted's Awesome Apocalypse Road Trip" perhaps?) how could I honestly put them on the same scale. We'll see how this develops.
Maybe I'll end up with a TV show like Ebert and Roeper, and I'll actually have to down the martini's depending on how horrible I think it is. I can have a sidekick who always disagrees with me but in the end everyone loves it anyway because we're trashed in 1/2 hour no matter what the movies are. And with Big Momma's House 2 and The Pink Panther coming out we've got a lot of drinking to do. Hey, MTV are you reading this? Call me.
Point being, I can't believe you read this far.
